Love Crushed Page 8

  Slowly raising up and sliding me out of her wet heat, leaving only an inch of me inside her, she bounces up and down fast, massaging only the tip of my dick. I grip her hips hard in my hands, fighting the urge to slam up inside her. Just when I think I can’t take anymore, she falls back down on me hard, and my eyes roll back into my head.

  “Fuck.” I reach behind her, grabbing her ass with one of my hands while the other fists in her hair, moving her up and down my shaft, my hips lifting to slam up into her harder.

  “Uh-uh.” Tiffany reaches behind her. Grabbing my hands, she pulls them off her and puts them above my head. “This is my ride, stud. You just lie there and enjoy.”

  My cock jerks inside her, and I barely stop myself from blowing.

  Fuck me. She’s so damn sexy when she’s like this. All bossy and in control, taking what she wants, and giving me just as much in return.

  More than happy to let her run the show, I let her hold my hands above my head while she rides me, taking her pleasure but giving it in return, too.

  Her movements become jerky, and her walls start constricting around me. I know she’s right there and ready to tip over the edge. On her next downstroke, I jerk my hips up and grind into her, hitting that bundle of nerves that will send her over. It doesn’t fail.

  She screams out my name and collapses on my chest, panting and out of breath. Her pussy is pulsating around me, and if I don’t move soon, I may die. Flipping us again, I throw her legs over my shoulder and show no mercy as I pound into her.

  “Oh! Oh fuck, Josh, I’m going to come again.” Grabbing onto my arms, her nails bite into my flesh as she screams out.

  My body locks tight, electric bolts shoot through me from head to toe, and I push in as deep as I can then start to spill into the condom right as her next orgasm hits. She milks me, squeezing me so tight that it borders on painful.

  “Oh God, Kitten.” I bury my head in her neck as my arms and legs shake with the effort of holding myself up off her. Panting, I fight to take in a full breath as sweat drips off me.

  She releases a purr and slowly rakes her nails up and down my back, sending a fresh wave of shivers up my spine, causing me to twitch inside her and both of us to groan.

  I slowly slide out of her, not able to hold myself up any longer, and fall to the side of her, pulling her body against mine. I’m holding her tight as we both come down and catch our breaths.

  Once my heart rate returns to normal and I can take a full breath, I lean up over her and brush the hair off her face.

  Her blue eyes shine up at me, and my heart kicks back up. God, she’s beautiful.

  “Wanna cook some steaks on the grill and have a nice dinner or just snack?”

  “You packed steaks?” Her eyebrow shoots up, and she looks at me as if I’m crazy.

  “No, they came in the package with the roses and stuff.” I can’t help myself and lean down, brushing a soft kiss on her lips.

  Her face goes soft again, and I know that we need to decide quickly, or we’ll wind up in bed for the rest of the night, and as much as I love being inside her, I need food.

  Right on cue, my stomach releases an angry growl.

  “All right, Casanova, let’s get you some food. Steaks sound awesome. And afterward, I’m soaking in that huge-ass tub. If you’re good, maybe I’ll let you join me.” She rolls away from me and hops off the bed as I swat at her ass.

  “Oh, Kitten.” I follow her off the bed and slip my boxer briefs back on. “Challenge accepted. You’ll be begging me for it.”

  One day, she’ll learn I’m only too happy to prove her wrong when it comes to how bad she really wants me.

  Ten

  *Tiffany*

  The skies are gray and gloomy, matching our moods. Josh has been quiet all morning, and I’m sulking because I don’t want to go. It’s been heaven, and I don’t want to leave this alone time with Josh—or that tub.

  Seriously, these were the best baths of my life, even when Josh opted out of soaking with me. Although the one he joined me for was the sexiest of my life, lying back on him with his chest pressed against me. He ran the washcloth over my whole body, washing every inch and showing more attention to some places than others. He made the already warm water bubbling hot and had me turning to straddle him, where I loved a specific part of his body, showing him just how much I enjoyed his pampering.

  It was worth the hour it took to clean up all the water.

  I even had my own private good-bye with the tub, and I may have designed my future bathroom while doing so. The thing has eight jets. That’s eight jets of pure relaxation heaven. A sigh escapes me, and I glance back once more, longingly. Every girl really needs a bathtub like that. We would be less stressed and therefore less bitchy.

  “Tiffany, let’s go. We gotta gas up, and I wanna grab some breakfast before we hit the road.”

  “Coming. I want to do one more run-through to make sure we don’t leave anything,” I say as I come out of the bathroom to find him grabbing the last of my bags.

  “Jesus. Did you have to buy everything?”

  Josh is ill-tempered this morning, and I know it’s because we’ve not talked once about us. I’ve steered clear of that conversation. After getting here Friday night, I decided to hold off on telling him. He put so much thought into this trip and went out of his way to make it special for me¸ so I want to return the favor. And what better way than to do something huge and give him the one thing he’s been wanting for over a month now, my decision to have a relationship with him.

  I have no clue what I’ll do, but I want it to be big, something to make it the best gift and day he’s ever had.

  “I didn’t buy everything, but I wasn’t going to pass up those deals. And Gabby will appreciate it just as much. Wait until she sees them.” I about pissed myself when I saw the “Don’t flatter yourself, cowboy—I was only looking at your truck” shirt.

  “But did you really need five bags’ worth?” he grumbles.

  “Thanks for walking all of the shops with me yesterday.” I take a step toward him. “And for letting me take my time browsing.” Pressing against him, I lean up and whisper in his ear, “You’re the best.” I plant a big wet kiss on his cheek, and some of the anger dissipates from his face.

  ***

  The ride home brings much of the same, with Josh silently stewing. A couple of times, he would reach to turn the radio down and open his mouth, only to stop before saying anything.

  I relax in my seat and remember how romantic it was to walk hand in hand though the huge aquarium, exploring all the different fish and the sharks. God, they were huge and swimming right over our heads. Josh was brave enough to even touch baby sharks and stingrays in the small petting areas. I like my fingers and hands too much to stick them in the tank, thank you.

  The aquarium even had a freshwater section that made me reconsider ever getting in another river or lake. I’m talking fish big enough to swallow me in two bites. Then there were the bright, colorful fish that put me in a relaxing trance, their beauty and movements so mind-boggling, and starfish as big as my head. It’s insane how big these creatures grow.

  Afterward, exhausted from all the walking, we had decided on picking up pizza to take back with us. So we curled up, found a movie on TV, snacked on pizza, and had a few mixed drinks before heading out to soak in the hot tub. I had tried to talk Josh into staying inside where it was warm and enjoying full use of the Jacuzzi, but he insisted it would be warm enough in the water, and we could see the stars and enjoy the moonlit mountains outside.

  Who knew he could be so romantic? I sure as hell didn’t. He’s all rough, tough, and hard on the outside, but the more he shows me of the inside, I realize he’s all soft and gooey. My big bad scary teddy bear. I stifle a giggle, not wanting Josh to know my thoughts.

  I need to think of something—and fast. I’m not sure how much longer I can let him stew without just blurting out that I want to give us a go.

  This has go
t to be epic, something he’ll never forget.

  *Josh*

  I’m pissed and hurt. I don’t know how to bring up the fact that we spent the whole weekend acting like a couple—hell, even holding hands the whole time we were out—yet we’re not. I felt like everything had changed between us, and I can’t just be imagining the change in Tiffany, too. She seems lighter, more comfortable when we’re together.

  Yesterday was filled with stolen kisses, and I was holding her while we stood and watched the sea life. I thought for sure that last night was going to be it, the moment she finally broke down and told me she was ready to give us a try.

  Nope. Nada. Nothing. Not one word was uttered.

  I made love to her, soft and slow like I wanted to on Friday. It was on the tip of my tongue the whole time to tell her I loved her and that she’s it for me. I feel it in my gut and all the way down to my bones. There’s no denying the way I feel about her and the way she makes me feel. She’s my one and only.

  How the hell have I not proved that to her? I turned down a job this weekend just to take her away. I’ve been less focused on work and more focused on her. Not that money has ever mattered, but this trip was also to prove that money doesn’t mean shit when it comes to her. I would give up everything for her. I might hate it—only because I want to give her the world—but as long as she’s happy, I don’t care.

  Where does that leave me? Obviously, it doesn’t matter, because she knows what I want, and yet she still refuses to give it to me.

  I’ve started a hundred times to broach the elephant in the truck with us, and I have nowhere to begin. It’s eating at me and making my gut churn. I know I made some kind of progress this weekend, but we’ve been together for a month. I always feel like I have her, then she goes back into herself and locks her emotions down. Then I also take the chance of pushing her farther away, and the way I’m feeling, I’m afraid the anger will win out over the hurt.

  Before I can figure out what to say, we’re pulling up to my house, and I know I’m out of time. Maybe if I unload her bags slowly enough, I’ll figure it out, and we can sort this through before she goes. I’m sick of leaving things hanging, and if nothing else, maybe she’ll tell me what I need to do to prove to her that I’m in this for good, and we’re made for each other.

  This wooing of her has been fun, but it’s taking a toll, never knowing what response I’m going to get. I can’t do this anymore. I might not be so set in my ways now, living more in the present, but this need to make her mine? This is one I can’t let go of. That possessive beast inside me needs to make her mine and make that known to everyone else, too. I hate the thought of some guy hitting on her and asking if she’s single.

  Yeah, this shit ends now. Tiffany Johnson is mine, and I’ll be damned if I let her slip through my fingers to be with some asshole.

  *Tiffany*

  He’s moving at a snail’s pace, and I can practically hear the wheels turning in his head. Part of me wants to laugh, because it’s funny as hell seeing Josh so worked up, but the other part of me knows that deep down, he’s hurt because I’ve still not committed to him.

  It’s only a day or two, Tiffany. Don’t give in. No, it’ll totally be worth it.

  He puts the last bag in my trunk, closes it, and then turns to lean back against it. Crossing his arms over his chest and his feet at the ankles, he settles in, and I know this is it.

  “I can’t do this anymore, Tiffany.”

  Whoa. Wait a minute. What?

  Did I read this all wrong? Maybe he was trying to figure out a way to tell me this wasn’t working, and he didn’t want to see me anymore. What if the whole weekend away with me was an eye-opener, and he realized I’m not really what he wants. What if—

  “I’ve done everything I can think of to prove how good we are together, and… nothing.” He throws his hands up in the air then lets them fall back down to his side. “I thought for sure that after yesterday, you had changed your mind.”

  Whew. Thank God. Okay, so he’s just pissed I still haven’t said yes. Before I can respond, though, he keeps going.

  “I turned down a job for you, I cut back on my hours at work, put in I don’t know how many hours planning all this shit for you, and for what?” He straightens up and starts pacing. “Nothing. You run hot then cold. I never know which Tiffany I’m going to get. Which—don’t get me wrong—that’s pretty hot most of the time. But I can’t do this shit anymore. I’m going out of my damn mind.”

  I know he’s frustrated, and he has put a lot of effort into everything he’s done, but that pisses me off. I don’t ever want him to throw shit back in my face.

  “I didn’t ask you to do that shit! You did it on your own, Josh. So why are you going to stand there and throw it all back in my face like I’m using you for a good time?”

  “Aren’t you?” He stops pacing and glares at me, his teeth gnashing together, his already hard jaw turning to stone. But through it all, I see the pain in his eyes.

  He really thinks I don’t want him. I can’t do that to him. Screw the plan to do something big—I need to tell him now. I open my mouth to speak, but his next words stop me.

  “I really never pegged you for a girl like that. Get what you want and then get out. Didn’t you feel it this weekend? That connection we share? Or was it just fucking for you? What was it you said the night of the Halloween party?”

  My shame burns deep as he thinks about it for a minute, recalling my drunken night of failed seduction.

  “Oh yeah, something like, ‘It’s just sex. People do it all the time.’ Then there was also, ‘Why won’t you give me an orgasm? I just wanna get laid.’ Is that really all this is to you?” He spits the words out at me, and each word feels like a slice straight through my heart.

  My breath whooshes out of me, and I stumble backward. I’ve really done a number on him, and my genius plan to do something special has backfired and blown straight the fuck up in my face.

  “What would you say to another guy if he were to try to pick you up? You know what?” He shakes his head, and his jaw twitches. “Never mind. Don’t answer that. I’m done.”

  His eyes are blazing mad, and his normally hard features are sharper, harder. His brows are pinched, and deep in his eyes, I see the confusion and hurt. Before I can swallow the boulder of emotions clogging my throat and fix this, he turns and walks away, storming into the house and slamming the door.

  What the hell just happened here? I knew he was hurt, but does he really think so poorly of me?

  Eleven

  *Tiffany*

  I had time to think about it on the drive home, and I really hurt Josh. While it’s not okay for him to talk to me that way, I get it. He’s been doing everything right for the past month and showing me over and over that he seriously wants a relationship with me. And I could have stopped it all and told him the truth, but I wanted to do something special for him. After all he’s done for me, he deserves the best, and for me to do something thoughtful for him for a change. I just didn’t know what and needed a little time.

  Maybe the extra time will give him a chance to cool off, and we can laugh about it and someday tell our kids. It’s kind of our “thing” to play tricks on each other and see how deep we can get under one another’s skin.

  I should be unpacking, doing laundry, and attacking my homework, but I need to hurry and figure this out before too much time passes. I don’t want to leave things the way they are between us. I want an us and everything that comes with it.

  I pick up the pad of paper and pen off the coffee table and prop my feet up, laying the paper on my knees, and I get to work brainstorming. Maybe I could take him camping? No, it’s too cold for that. He loves building stuff, so I could make him something. Ugh! I have no clue how to build anything, and what would I even build that would say I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

  My phone rings, startling me, and hope blooms in my chest. Could Josh be calling to tell me he’s sorry? Cr
ap. What if it is Josh? I still don’t have a clue what to do for him or how to prove that I really want him.

  Swallowing my nerves, I grab my phone and glance at the screen only to see that it’s Dad calling. Disappointment washes over me, but then an idea hits. Who better to help me figure out what to do than another man?

  “Daddy! How are you?”

  “Hey, baby. I’m okay. What about you?”

  “I’m good.” How do I ask him for help, though, when nobody knows what’s been going on between Josh and me?

  “We need to talk.”

  Uh-oh. Those words are never good and make me feel like a kid in trouble. I try to remember if I’ve done something really bad, but I come up empty.

  “Okay.” It comes out slow and hesitant. “What’s up?”

  “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to come on out and say it.” He takes a deep breath and blows it out. “I’ve asked your mother for a divorce.”

  Sitting on the couch in the townhouse I share with Gabby, I feel as if my chest is ripped open, heart falling out and shattering into a million tiny pieces on the floor, as the world I know is torn from me and turned upside down. “What do you mean? Why would you do that?” I whisper into the phone.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I just don’t love your mother anymore, and life’s too short to live it unhappy. I only called because I wanted to be the one to tell you. Didn’t want you hearing it from someone else.”

  “All right,” I choke out before punching the end button on my phone. Falling over on my side and curling into a ball, I wrap my arms around one of the pillows and cry, letting all of the heartache wash over me and stream down my face.

  Why is he doing this? I thought for sure that my mom and dad would be together forever. Oh God, my mom. I need to call her and see if she’s okay. Of course she isn’t okay. Your father just told her that he wants a divorce after twenty-something years of marriage. The thought of my parents no longer together pushes up another blood-curdling sob.