Ten Year Crush Page 3

Cool it, dude. That’s Josh’s baby sister. And it’s her birthday.

  Then that damn song comes on. I sit back and watch them out of the corner of my eye. When Gabby pulls him closer, I grip my bottle tighter, my muscles tense.

  Mother. Fucker. Now she’s grinding on his leg. And Josh and Tiffany are bickering with each other. I can’t deal with any of this shit. I drain my beer and head to the bar for another one without a word.

  “Motivation” by Kelly Rowland starts playing. Do they have to play every fuck-me song out there?

  I lean back against the bar and chug my beer. Three drinks and it’s gone. I order another and head back to the table.

  Gabby has her back to the asshat now and she’s doing this thing with her hips, moving lower and lower. If I wasn’t seeing red, I’d be rearranging myself.

  Damn, she can move those hips.

  Isn’t Josh going to do anything about this dude dry-fucking his sister on the dance floor?

  Turning again, she’s back to fucking his leg. His hands move to her ass and that’s it, white-hot fury overtakes me. I slam my bottle down on the table making Tiffany jump. Josh gives me a what-the-fuck-is-your-problem look.

  I storm onto the dance floor and grab Gabby by the arm. “Get your fucking hands off her,” I grit out, pulling her away from surfer boy. Both shout at me at the same time.

  “What the hell is your problem, Cam?”

  “Who the fuck are you?”

  I ignore Gabby, pulling her behind me. I get in douchebag’s face. “I’m your worst fucking nightmare if you don’t keep your damn hands off her.” My blood is pumping through my body. I’m ready to knock this guy in the fucking mouth. I drag Gabby to the table. Tiffany and Josh are both standing and staring at me like I’m a lunatic. “We’re going,” I grit out between clenched teeth.

  Gabby jerks her arm, releasing my grip. “What the fuck is your problem? I was dancing. And I’m not ready to leave!”

  “Cam, man, what the hell are you doing?” Josh gives me that calm-the-fuck-down-now look.

  I jab my hands into my hair and blow out my breath, trying to calm down and slow my racing heart. How is he not pissed? That’s his sister that was just being fucking touched. “You just going to sit there and let some asshole grope your sister? She’s had six drinks.” I say, pointing at Gabby.

  “He wasn’t groping me. We were dancing, and I’m an—“

  “Hey, you all gotta go.”

  Looking around I see we have a crowd watching us. I nod to acknowledge the bouncer and take a deep breath, trying to calm down. I need to talk to Gabby. I know I just screwed up and probably embarrassed her too.

  “Thanks for ruining my night, asshole!” She storms off, followed by Tiffany.

  Guilt crashes down on me and I drop my head. Shit. What the hell was that? You don’t want her, but you don’t want anyone else to either. You are an asshole.

  “What the hell was that, Cam?”

  I just shrug Josh off and head for the door. I need to apologize to Gabby.

  I pause for a second when I pass the Bouncer. “Sorry, man. Didn’t mean to cause trouble.” He lifts his chin and I keep walking.

  The girls are already out in the parking lot by Josh’s truck. Gabby is standing stiff. She looks furious. A fist grips my insides. I’ve gotta make it right. “Gabby, can I talk to you for a minute?”

  “I have nothing to say.” She turns away from me.

  “Please, just a minute.” I reach out to grab her hand, and she jerks it back. Pain slices through my chest. She’s never pulled away from me or turned her back on me.

  She storms to the end of the truck, I walk past her to the edge of the parking lot, far enough away that Josh, and Tiffany won’t hear us.

  Huffing, she throws her hands in the air and walks the thirty feet over to me. “Talk,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “I’m sorry. I…” …was seeing red? …didn’t like watching some other guy have his hands all over you? I don’t even know what to say.

  “You what, Cam?”

  “I just—“My jaw tightens and I grind my teeth. “He isn’t good enough for you.”

  She laughs and it’s not an amused laugh. She’s pissed. No, she’s furious. “Un-fucking-believable. You don’t even know him.” Oh yeah, she’s pissed, pacing, and throwing her hands in the air. “Story of my life. I’m either not good enough or too good!”

  “What are you talking about?” A heavy weight settles in the pit of my stomach.

  “Cam, I’ve been in love with you since I fell in your lap ten years ago.”

  My heart pounds in my ears. I knew she felt something for me, but in love with me? I fight for breath.

  “I’m not good enough for you. Obviously. Because you’ve never looked at me like Brandon was. Not until you just dragged me away.” She points back towards the bar.

  I ball my hands in fists at the mention of the asshole and fight the urge to go back and pound his face, but I’ve done enough damage already. She has no fuckin’ clue how sexy she really is. She never notices the hunger in every guy’s eyes when she passes. I sure as hell do. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Thump—”

  “Don’t you ‘Thumper’ me! Ten years, Cam. I have sat back. And each girl I’ve had to see you with, my heart cracked a little more. So, don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about!” Her finger is pressing into my chest and her bottom lip is quivering.

  It pisses me off that she thinks that. “You don’t think I notice you?” I yell, causing her to jump back a little. “You’re wrong! I notice your beautiful green eyes. Your short legs and how damn hot they'd look wrapped around me. Your curves that make my damn mouth water. I wanna run my hands from your perfect tits, to those hips, and around to your sexy ass. I get hard every time I look at you.” I take a deep breath. “Yeah, Thumper. I do notice you. It’s just that I shouldn’t.” As I talk, my voice becomes softer, ending my spew on a whisper. I can’t believe I just laid it all out there like that, but fuck, I hate that she thinks she isn’t good enough.

  “What are you talking about?” Gabby is looking at me with tears in her eyes, and like I have two heads.

  “Gabby, I’ve been watching you for the past five years. I just can’t do anything about it. You and Josh mean too much to me. I’d fuck up. Then lose you both.” I push past the lump in my throat. The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt her.

  “Who says you’d fuck it up? Why? If you feel that way, why not try?” Gabby comes up to me and grabs the front of my shirt looking up at me with her big, green, pleading eyes.

  “I do. I can’t chance losing you,” I say cupping her face in both my hands. My muscles bunch tight with the urge to kiss her, but I fight it back. I swipe a tear with my thumb and my chest tightens at the pain I see in her eyes.

  “Can’t or won’t?” She buries her face in my chest and I barely hear the question.

  “Won’t,” I whisper, kiss the top of her head, and turn away from her—heart in the pit of my stomach. Gabby tries to pull me back to her, but I shake my head. “Don’t. I shouldn’t have said all of that. Nothing can happen.”

  “Why even tell me all of this then, Cam?” She clutches her chest.

  Fuck. She’s crying now and my heart cracks. “I don’t like you feeling like you’re not good enough.”

  “If you won’t do anything about your feelings or give us a try and be with me, then you need to stay out of my love life. No dragging me away when you don’t like it.”

  I ball my hands up, anger filling me once again. I growl out, “Not if you have a buzz and don’t know the guy. I’ll do it. Every. Damn. Time.”

  “God, you’re so frustrating! Just leave me alone!” Gabby storms off, climbs in the back seat, and slams the door.

  Running my hands through my hair, I grab a hand full and yank. “Fuck.” That went just fucking perfect.

  I hope I didn’t just lose both of my best frien
ds. Hopping up in the truck, I see Gabby in Tiffany’s arms. Tiffany is whispering something in her ear while stroking her head. Tiffany looks at me and if looks could kill, I would be dead. She mouths, “You’re such an asshole.”

  A knife twists in my stomach. I wish I were the one holding her. I hate myself for making her cry. Not yours. Will never be yours. Josh’s baby sister.

  It’s a quiet, tension-filled ride to Gabby and Tiffany’s townhouse. I know once they’re home Josh will want to know what happened. How do you tell your best friend that you’re in love with his baby sister, but plan on doing nothing about it?

  Before the girls are even in the house he starts, just like I knew he would. I can’t blame him, I’d do the same.

  “Wanna tell me what the fuck happened back there?” Josh is gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are turning white.

  “I’m sorry. I handled things the wrong way. I-“

  “Cam, cut the shit. I see how you look at Gabby.” He gives me an I’m-not-a-fucking-idiot look.

  Okay, so why hasn’t he hit me yet?

  “Yeah.” I sigh running my hands through my hair. I don’t know what else to say.

  “So, what are you going to do about it?” He arches a brow.

  “Nothing. I can’t. I would fuck up. Hurt her, and then lose you both.”

  “How do you know if you never try?”

  He would be okay with that? I always thought for sure he’d beat my ass if he knew my thoughts. Now, here he is pushing me to go for it? Nothing is worth risking him and Gabby, I won’t do it. “I guess I never will. It’s not something I want to chance. End of!”

  “I think you’re making a huge fuckin’ mistake.” Josh is shaking his head, already knowing nothing will change my mind.

  “Think I haven’t thought about that?” I regret my hard tone. “It’s better this way,” I mumble, dragging my hands down my face. He won’t understand.

  We pull up to a red light and Josh shoves his finger in my face. “Don’t fucking do that shit again. You either step the fuck up and make her yours, or back the fuck off and leave it be. She’s going to find someone eventually and you’re going to have to sit back and keep your damn mouth shut. You gonna be able to do that?” Josh raises his brow and the look on his face tells me he doesn’t think I’ll be able to.

  “I know. I’ll deal.” I don’t have a choice, but to figure out how to keep my cool.

  “And don’t you ever fucking man-handle my sister like that again.” Josh gives me an I-will-fuck-you-up-if-you-mess-with-my-sister look and I can tell he means it.

  “Won’t happen again.” I hold my hands up in surrender. Damn, I managed to piss everyone off tonight. I slump back in my seat feeling defeated. I can’t wait to get home and wash away tonight.

  Once we get to the three-bedroom house we share, I go straight to my room, stripping off my clothes along the way, and head for the shower.

  I let my head hang and the water rush down my body. I hate hurting Gabby and that I ruined her birthday. The hurt in her eyes tonight will haunt me for the rest of my life. But I would just hurt her worse in the long run. It’s better this way. Better for both of us. She’ll realize that one day.

  In my bed, I pull up my text and send one to Gabby.

  ME: I’M SORRY THUMPER. I DIDN’T MEAN 2 MAKE U CRY.

  I don’t expect a response so I’m shocked when my phone buzzes in my hand.

  THUMPER: U BROKE MY <3 FOR THE LAST TIME 2NIGHT.IF U WERE SORRY U WOULD DO SOMETHING 2 FIX IT! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

  I’m not sure about Josh, but I think I fucked everything up with Gabby. Bile rises up my throat and I push it back. Oh god, what will I do if she isn’t in my life at all?

  *Gabby*

  Throwing my phone on my nightstand, I angrily wipe my tears off my cheeks. How the hell did he not mean to make me cry? Tell me everything I’ve waited to hear for ten years, and then rip it away.

  I can’t believe the things Cam said. Standing there staring up into his electric blue eyes, dark hair, and his strong jaw line, I couldn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth. It was like my whole body lit on fire listening to him talk about what my body does to him, and how he really sees me. It was all of my dreams come true.

  Then, just as quickly, my body turned to ice and I felt like I had been punched in the gut. My heart was ripped out and torn into a million tiny pieces. I just don’t understand. Why? If he notices me, and likes me, then why can’t we be together?

  I open my nightstand and pull out the card Cam got me for my eleventh birthday. I’ve always held out hope that one day Cam would realize how much I loved him. That we would be together, I’d get my happily ever after. Now, I know that it isn’t the case. I’ll never have him and he will never love me the way I love him. My heart cracks wide open, and earth-shattering pain rips through me. I hold the card to my chest and cry a little harder, because now I know it’s never going to happen.

  “Argh!” I scream into my pillow. How much longer are you going to keep doing this to yourself, Gabby?

  I open the drawer to my nightstand, throw in the card, and slam it shut. Slamming the door shut on Cam.

  That night I promise myself it’s the last time I’ll cry over him and the love that will never be returned.

  I’m done. No more pining after Camron Taylor.

  Chapter Three

  *Gabby*

  After a weekend of lounging around the house, doing homework, trying to keep my mind busy, and from replaying Cam’s words over and over in my head, I’m thankful for class Monday morning.

  As usual, I’m one of the first ones to arrive to my Finance and Marketing class. I take my normal seat in the middle. Digging in my bag to get my book and notebook out, the seat next to me scrapes the floor. I sneak a glance over and can see it’s Brandon. Oh great, no telling what he thinks after Friday night. “Hey.” I fake a smile, trying to hide my embarrassment.

  “Hey, so about the other night… Was that your boyfriend or something?” Straight to the point. Not what I want to face first thing on a Monday.

  “Um, no. He’s just a longtime friend.” Please don’t ask anything more.

  “So, why did he threaten to beat my ass?” Brandon raises his brow.

  Shit. Panic consumes me and my palms begin to sweat.

  “He was just being stupid and had too much to drink.” I lie. I’m not going into all of that with him. “I’m really sorry about that though. He’s normally not like that.”

  Brandon stares at me for a minute, like he’s trying to figure out if I’m lying or not. “Cool. So, do you think that maybe we could go out sometime?”

  My mouth drops open. He still wants to go out with me? I hurry and snap my mouth shut. “Sure, um when?” I smile, a real one this time. Determination with a touch of excitement sets in. It’s time for me to move on, give up on what I know will never be, and I think Brandon is just the cure.

  Maybe this is a sign that it really is time to move on and get over this stupid infatuation I have for my brother’s best friend. Don’t go there, Gabby. Remember, done.

  “Well, I was thinking… if you didn’t have plans tonight? I could take you out and treat you to a late birthday dinner.” Brandon smiles.

  He really is cute. Now that it isn’t dark, I can tell he has hazel eyes. He’s wearing brown cargo shorts and a green polo shirt, with sandals. Yup, complete opposite of Cam. Cam would be wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and boots. Dammit, Gabby, shut it!

  “I work tonight, but I’m off at six. We could do something around seven thirty?” I tuck my hair behind my ear and try to hide the heat in my cheeks.

  “Seven thirty works. Just so you know, you’re cuter when you blush.” He winks and flashes his perfect white teeth.

  My cheeks flame up even more. “Okay.” Brandon chuckles and I focus on the front, noticing class already started.

  After class, as I’m packing up my book and notes, I glance at Brandon out of the corner of my eye.
He stands up and pulls something from his pocket. “Can I get your number? I’ll call you and you can save mine. Just text me where you want me to pick you up.” He has his phone in his hands, ready to punch in my number.

  “Sure, sounds good.” I give him my number and he calls. I pull out my phone and save his number as we walk to the door.

  “I’ll see you tonight.” Brandon grabs my hand and squeezes a little.

  I smile up at him. “See ya.”

  ***

  The rest of the day goes by in a blur. As I head into the coffee shop, close to campus where Tiff and I both work, I freak out about tonight. I’ve been on dates before and I’m no virgin, but he’s a stranger. Can I really go through with this? He doesn’t set my blood on fire or give me butterflies like Cam does. Of course he doesn’t. Cam’s been in your life for ten years, stupid. Give him a chance.

  “Hey, hooker, how was class?” Tiff is already here and getting ready for our shift. Most of the time we work the same hours.

  “It was good.” I flash her a nervous smile. “I have a date tonight.” I chew on my lip.

  “Oh my god, that’s great, Gabby…” her eyebrows pinch together, and then just as fast, she raises one brow in question. “Wait, with who?”

  “Brandon. The guy I was dancing with the other night.”

  “Oh…” She grins. “He was cute. You looked hot together, before Cam went all super dickhead on the guy.”

  “Yeah, he’s cute. He wants to take me out for a late birthday dinner.” I shrug.

  “Ooo, where are you going?” She’s bouncing around like she’s the one going out.

  “I’m not sure. He’s going to pick me up at seven thirty.” I pull my hair up into a sloppy bun. “What am I going to wear? I have no clue what we’re doing.”

  “Just wear some cute jeans and a nice top. I’m sure he isn’t going to take you anywhere really fancy on a Monday night.”

  I nod and we walk up front to start our shift. It’s really busy this afternoon so I don’t have much time to dwell on my nerves.