Love Crushed Page 3

  Groaning, I roll over and bury my head in the pillow. The movement shifts everything in my stomach, and saliva is working its way up my throat. I lie still, praying to all that's holy I don't throw up. I take deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. Why does my pillow smell like Josh?

  "Mornin', hellcat. How ya feelin'?"

  Startled by the deep rumble of Josh’s voice, my body jerks, and I have to swallow the bile working its way up my esophagus. The bed shifts beside me, and warm breath tickles the back of my neck. My eyes pop open, and my muscles bunch tight in panic.

  Aw shit. Jeezus, Mary, and Joseph, what have I done? Oh, God, please tell me I didn't sleep with Josh. I shove up from the bed and get on my knees, my nausea momentarily taking a backseat to the panic coursing through my veins.

  “What the hell are you doing in bed with me?” I start with a screech and lower my voice as it sends pins and needles into my skull. Note to self—never again drink shots of whiskey while drinking hooch.

  “It’s my bed.” The corner of his mouth ticks up in a half smile, and I would roll my eyes, but I’m sure at the moment, that would hurt, too.

  “Why am I in it?” I’m thankful my voice doesn’t shake and that I’m hiding the fact that inside, I’m freaking way the hell out.

  “You jumped me last night and begged me to have sex with you.” His eyes are twinkling, and he has a shit-eating grin.

  “No way. I would never!” Scratch that, I’m never drinking again. What have I done? I couldn’t have… “You’re lying.” I’ve fought this crazy attraction to him for years. No way would I risk our friendship by doing something so stupid.

  “Please, Josh. Please give me one night,” he says in a girly squeak, and his eyes lose some of the shine, taking on a darker color.

  My stomach rolls, and tingling numbness runs from my head to my toes. Please, God, let him be lying.

  “Stop messing with me.” I slap him across the stomach, not hard but enough that he’ll know I’m serious. My fingers tingle, and electricity shoots up my arm from where they touched his bare skin. “Where’s Gabby? She’ll tell me the truth.” I climb out of bed and stomp to the door. My hand on the knob and getting ready to turn it, I freeze.

  “Yes!”

  Is that Gabby?

  “Ahh! You want it fast?”

  And Cam? I throw my fist in the air and start to do a happy dance but stop short when I hear the anger in Josh’s voice.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. Not fuckin’ again.”

  Again? Go, Gabby! Wait. Oh shit. I spin just as Josh comes barreling into me, fists balled at his sides and eyes blazing mad.

  “Wait. Leave them alone.” I plant my hands on his chest and try to push him away from the door but with no success.

  “Move, Tiff,” he says between clenched teeth.

  Crap. Crap. Crap. Think fast. “She loves him. Let her have this.”

  “Not after everything she went through last night. He should know better.” He wraps his arms around me, lifts, and twists, setting me away from the door.

  Okay, new tactic. I grab his arm and give a mighty tug. “Wait. We need to talk.” I swallow the panic and fear and push forward, making a mental note that Gabby owes me big-time for this. “Did I really do all of that last night?”

  I guess I didn’t hide the fear too well, because my voice comes out wobbly, and Josh turns, his eyes losing some of the heat for a softer look.

  “Yeah, babe. You did.”

  “Please tell me we didn’t do anything.” I look at my feet, not able to look him in the eyes, shame and humiliation washing over me.

  Josh sucks in a sharp breath.

  “Do you really think I would do something like that?” The pain and anger in his voice have my head jerking up.

  “I…” What do I say to that?

  “This, right here, is why I held myself back last night. I’ve waited a long damn time to make my move because I knew you weren’t ready. But the shit you pulled last night?” He pauses and shakes his head. “I’m done waitin’. You showed me your cards, babe.” He takes a step, moving closer to me. “So I’m comin’ after you. And I can promise, when I finally get to sink into you”—taking the last step, he presses against me—“you’ll know you’re mine, and it won’t be just sex.”

  My heart starts to pound, and the nausea is back. Flashes from last night race through my head. Me lying on the bed begging Josh, telling him I’ve wanted him. Him telling me no and not when I’m drunk. Holy shit. I gasp and cover my mouth with both hands.

  “Starting to come back to you?” He pulls my hands from my mouth, and they drop to my sides. “If not, maybe this’ll help.”

  His hands dive into my hair, and his mouth comes down hard on mine. My mouth opens on a surprise gasp, and he doesn’t waste time. His tongue runs along my lip for a brief second before it’s in my mouth. His kiss sends warmth to every cell inside me. Demanding, his tongue glides against mine and has me wrapping my arms around him, pulling him closer.

  One of his hands drops from my hair, runs down my neck and side, and stops just below my breast. His thumb skates across my nipple, and I give a small cry of pleasure as zaps shoot straight to my core. He tilts my head, fisting my hair and taking the kiss deeper. The only sounds are our heavy breaths, then Cam’s words break me out of my Josh-sex fog.

  “Let’s get something to eat. We can go to the new IHOP.”

  “Josh.” I mumble against his lips then turn my head. “Stop, we can’t do this.”

  “Why the hell not?” His hand still in my hair, he brings my head back to face him. “What’s stopping you? You told me last night that you wanted me.” His eyebrows are drawn together, and his face is a mask of confusion.

  “I don’t want anything serious. I’m still young and want to live my life making mistakes and learning from them. I don’t want you to be a mistake or something that I screw up.” I pull away and move farther into the room.

  “That’s a shit excuse.” He leans against the door, crossing his arms, and my eyes roam down his body, taking in the dips of his hips that disappear in the basketball shorts he’s wearing.

  Focus, Johnson!

  “No, it’s not!” I pull up Tiff-the-bitch and pop a hip out, spewing the first thing that comes to mind. “I like to dance.”

  “So?” He cocks an eyebrow, and his lip twitches with amusement.

  “You don’t. What if a guy came up and wanted to dance with me, and I did. What would you do then?”

  His body visibly tenses, and his eyes narrow on me. “You have Gabby. If you’re mine, no other man touches you.”

  “My point exactly!” I throw my hands up in frustration. “You’re twenty-five going on forty, Mr. Perfect-And-Doesn’t-Make-Mistakes.” I’m on a roll and keep going. “You have your life planned out. Job, house, truck, and you even have a retirement account started.” I tick the items off on my fingers as I list them. "I don’t even know what I want to do with the rest of my life.”

  “Let me see if I’ve got this right.” He pushes off the door and starts prowling toward me, head dipped, looking at me through slitted eyes. “We can’t do this because I don’t dance, and I’ve got my shit together?”

  “Yes!” My body sags with relief. He’s finally getting it. “Glad we got that figured out. Now, I need a shower.” My body freezes, and I look down, just now noticing I’m in a tee and panties. And not just any T-shirt—Josh’s. “Where are my clothes, and how did I get in this?”

  “I changed you. After you puked, I cleaned you up.”

  My eyes slide closed, and I send up a prayer for God to strike me dead, and once again, I vow to never drink again.

  *Josh*

  “Thanks,” Tiffany mumbles, then she runs out of the bedroom and straight into the bathroom.

  “This conversation isn’t over. You can run, but you can’t hide.” I shout so I know she can hear me through the door.

  “Yeah, it is!”

  Most
infuriating woman I’ve ever met. I would be pissed if it wasn’t so funny. I’m not sure what exactly she’s so afraid of or why it wouldn’t work between us. All I know is, it’s going to be fun watching smart-mouth, badass little Tiffany fall apart and give in to me.

  I’ll keep on her, and eventually, I’ll wear her down. When I had her pressed up against me, her body melted into mine, and she can’t deny the heat that exploded in that kiss. Last night was hot as hell with her coming on to me, but today, with her sober and willing in my arms? Nothing’s ever compared to this.

  I groan and reposition the hard-on I’ve had since I woke up this morning wrapped around her, my head buried in her neck, breathing in the smell of something sweet and cherry.

  I’m going to need a long, cold shower after Tiffany gets done. The shit this girl puts me through almost makes me question whether it’s worth it. But then I think of who it is, and I know—yeah, it’ll be worth it.

  I head into the kitchen to get a glass of water and some Advil. I know she’s gotta be feeling like shit after an hour of having her head in the toilet last night. I hear the shower kick on, and I form a plan.

  ***

  “Babe, brought you some medicine.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep my grin at bay.

  “Josh! What the fuck?” She shrieks and pops her head out from behind the shower curtain, eyes alight with fire and glaring at me. “Get out of here, and stop calling me babe!”

  “Here, take these.” I take the couple of steps to the tub and hold out two small red pills.

  “Have you lost your mind?”

  “Just take them. It’ll help you feel better.”

  She snatches them out of my hand, glaring at me the whole time, then takes the glass of water, drinking until it’s all gone. “There.” She shoves the glass into my chest. “Now go!”

  I twist and set the glass on the counter, then I turn back to her, putting my thumbs in my shorts.

  “Whoa. Um, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Panic and anger are clear in her voice, and her eyebrows hit her hairline.

  “I’m going to take a shower. Scoot over.” I slide my shorts down and stand back up, with no intention of getting in. Unless she invites me—then that’s a whole different story.

  Her eyes widen and move down, stopping on my still-hard dick.

  “I do not think so. Joshua Murphy, put your clothes back on and get your ass outta here right now.”

  “Babe.” Not able to hold it back anymore, I grin at her. “It’s nothing I’ve not felt, and I’ve seen most of it.”

  “Swear to God, if you don’t get out of here, I’m going to go Lorena Bobbitt on your ass! And for the last time, stop calling me babe!”

  Damn, fiery Tiffany is hot. “Now who’s acting like they’re forty?”

  “Gosh dammit, Josh. Out!”

  “All right, Kitten.” She growls, a bar of soap comes flying at my head, and I duck so it misses me. “I’ll go.”

  I pull my shorts back up, chuckling. Oh yeah, this is going to be more fun than I thought.

  Five

  *Tiffany*

  For the fifth time in two hours, my phone vibrates on the nightstand beside my bed. I groan in frustration and turn my Kindle off, giving up on reading. I roll over and grab my phone to see what’s so damn important and why people can’t just leave me alone. I have a pretty good feeling I know who it is, and I’ve been avoiding him since my night of drunken stupidity.

  Josh: What are you up to?

  Josh: Wanna grab something to eat? Movie?

  Josh: You can’t avoid me forever…

  Josh: Come on, Kitten. Might as well give in. I know you want me. ;)

  And finally, the last one he just sent.

  Josh: I’ve given you two weeks to come to terms that I’m makin’ you mine. Now I’m tellin’ you, no more hiding. I’m coming for you.

  It’s been like this for two weeks, with constant texts coming in. Every once in a while, he’ll switch it up and call. Both texts and calls go unanswered. I have nothing else to say, and I don’t want to get into a relationship with Josh. Sure, I’ve always had a crush on him and even love him. I’m just not ready for something like that. I want to go out and live my life and see the world. My dream vacation is a really long one spent driving across the country, stopping and seeing as many states as I can.

  I can’t do that with a steady boyfriend who has his own business and is Mr. I-Don’t-Miss-Work-Or-Have-Fun. Hell, now that Josh lives on his own, I don’t think he’s been on a vacation since opening his own business. The tight ass and his retirement funds. A laugh bubbles its way up my throat. He’s thinking about retirement and expanding his company, and I’m thinking about month-long vacations and what I’m going to do with the rest of my life.

  I power off my phone and throw it on the bed beside me. I’m tired of thinking about all this crap, and Josh just needs to back off. I’m protecting both of us, and my friendship with Gabby. Who knows what the future holds. If and when I’m ready to commit to someone, and Josh is still there, then I’ll give us a try. But not until I’m ready.

  Since Josh ruined my sexy reading time, I need a distraction to keep my mind off all things him, so I decide I’ll go see what Gabby’s doing and if she needs help with an outfit for tonight.

  I roll off my king-sized bed, which is totally impractical for one person living in a townhouse. I may be small, but I love to have room when I’m sleeping. Growing up, I was always told I was the worst person to sleep with because of my tossing and turning, kicking, and even punching people. Then there’s the fact I’m a blanket and pillow hog, too.

  “Why the hell are there so many blankets and pillows? We’re camping, not staying at the Hilton,” Cam had complained while making the five hundred trips from the truck down to our campsite at Red River Gorge.

  “That’s Tiffany. Maybe we should put up the spare tent just for her?” Josh replied and then laughed.

  I hadn’t found it funny. In fact, I had freaked out.

  “I’m not sleeping in a tent by myself!” I shrieked and looked to Gabby for help, but she was already halfway down to the site with a load. “There’s spiders and snakes out here. And did you see the signs about tying your food in a tree because of bears? Bears!” My body was trembling, and my heart was pounding with the thought of being left on my own out there. They wouldn’t do that to me. No way.

  Josh and Cam looked at each other and busted out laughing, both doubled over, pillows and blankets forgotten. Cam recovered first, grabbing a load and heading to the camp, shaking his head, still chuckling and mumbling something I couldn’t hear.

  “Stop freaking out, Kitten. We were just messin’ with you.” He wrapped his arms around me, and I immediately put my forehead to his chest. “I would never make you sleep alone, even if it cost me a black eye and the loss of my pillows and covers.”

  The pounding in my chest slowed, and I finally took a good, deep breath, but his words finally sank in, and my breathing picked up again. Wait. Kitten?

  “What did you call me?” I leaned back to look at him.

  We heard Cam’s and Gabby’s voices, and they were getting closer. Josh pulled back from me, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. His green eyes flashed with something I’d never seen before, then the twinkling of mischief took its place.

  “Kitten. You know, they’re scared of their own shadows.” He ducked just in time to avoid my fist.

  “Asshole!”

  I didn’t sleep alone. I slept with Josh curled around me all weekend, feeling safe. All thoughts of snakes, spiders, and bears were forgotten.

  That was the last trip we went on. It was the summer before Gabby and I graduated, the first time Josh had ever called me Kitten and the last time I had slept in his arms—until Halloween night. He uses the nickname only every now and then, but it drives me up the wall, small part annoyance and big part turn-on. But he’ll never know that.

  I shake my head to clear all thoughts
and memories of Josh from my mind. What is he doing to me?

  I leave my room, and Gabby exits the bathroom at the same time, her hair and makeup already done.

  “Hey, I was just coming to find you. Got your outfit picked out yet?” I can’t help smiling at her, because the love and happiness pouring out of her are enough to make me feel warm and fuzzy, too.

  “Yeah. Wanna tell me what you think?” She walks past me and into her room. “I can’t believe it’s finally concert night, and I’m going to see Florida Georgia Line with Cam.”

  Since the Halloween party, she and Cam have been inseparable, and I’ve never see her so happy and content. The way Cam treats her, the love and affection he’s always doling out—it almost makes me want to give in to Josh.

  Almost.

  “Two of the things I wanted most, seeing my favorite band and going with my man.” She slips off her robe and starts dressing. “God, Tiff. So much has changed in the past two weeks.” The smile on her face is so big that her cheeks have to hurt, but I couldn’t be happier for my friend.

  “Trust me, I’ve heard and even seen.” I laugh as red colors her neck and works its way up.

  “Shut up! I would swear off sex again, but I can’t get enough of him, and every time gets better.” A wicked, dreamy look shines in her eyes, and I have a feeling she’s reliving something.

  So it’s just like the time she swore off sex after I walked in and caught her and Cam getting busy on the couch. I don’t ever again want to see my two friends going at it like rabbits. Once is already too much, and the image will last me a lifetime.

  “Lucky bitch. I would give anything just for an orgasm. At this point, it doesn’t even matter who or have to be great.” Well, anyone but Josh. “I’m getting sick of B.O.B. Those things are good for only so long.”

  “You’re such a hooker.” She turns her back to me. “Will you zip me?”

  “I know.” I zip her up and smack her bottom. “But you love me anyway.” She turns and pretends to glare, and I shoot her a wink, laughing.